foster carrots // holy shadow

by Foster Carrots

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1.
02:16
2.
02:21
3.
03:31
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03:16
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about

a split w holy shadow bc they're cute + we are touring together

details abt the tour here: www.facebook.com/events/1681022275478301/


thanks to lexi for lending me her mic to record this :+)

recorded on 11/16/2015 in a dorm room in kalamazoo, michigan

all of these songs were written between aug 2014 - november 2015

s/o to the folks these songs r about for not getting mad at me

xoxo felix

holy shadow's tracks were recorded by hunter finden around the end of november 2015.

holyshadow.bandcamp.com

credits

released December 6, 2015

pic by sandeep sehbi

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about

Foster Carrots Washington, D.C.

foster carrots is felix donate-perez.
(foster carrots is also a band sometimes)
currently based out of DC, from Virginia, spent a second in Michigan, and headed elsewhere eventually.

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Track Name: drowning
i've never spent more than a day in new england
but i miss it since i miss you
and i've never spent a single day in maine
but i miss it since i miss you
so i'll be almost landlocked in the midwest soon
and you say you'll visit me and i believe you
(i believe you)
look at me with those blue eyes
talk to me about the water
look at me with those blue eyes
i'm not a very good swimmer
but look at me with those blue eyes
i swear i'm drowning every day
yea i'm drowning in your eyes
and i'll drown in the bay
and i think being landlocked is best for me
(it's for the best)
so let's keep it real
let's keep it hushed
let's keep it good
let's keep both of us in the mood and
let's keep on kissing until my plane leaves
if we're /really/ lucky i'll miss my flight
and you can stay in my bed in virginia forever
and i'll never have to sleep alone again
i never want to sleep alone again
'cause i wake up missing you
not knowing what to do
completely confused
i've never spent more than a day in new england
but i miss it since i miss you
i miss it since i miss you
i miss you
Track Name: ghost party
sorry for smoking on your grave
wouldn't be the first one to haunt me
no surprise
these boys can't say anything
without being on everything
you know it's true
you know it's true
i'll get close but i'll be clear
everyone feels like a substitute
for someone who isn't here
at least right now but
i'll get close but i'll be clear
these words can't leave
beyond here
and you say
i hate myself everyday

i keep on gaining secrets
i never meant to keep
i'm working to be more honest
i keep on gaining secrets
i never meant to keep
i'll only lie once or twice to you baby

so we'll get drunk
so we'll black out
vomit on the train tracks
that's what college is all about
right

yea we'll get high
we'll crossfade
forget our papers
due the next day
Track Name: just for
you might think it's crazy but you're the only thing i can see
a year ago was just awkward kisses on the cheek
but now we're together again and it's only been a week
history is messy and well i'm sorry
i just don't know what we're doing
i just know it feels so fucking easy
and you say "yea, let's just keep it easy
casual maybe" it feels like a whole lot more
i breathe you in, you breathe me out
i breathe you in, you breathe me out
kissing like we're gasping for air i swear
we were drowning when we were apart
and i know that you probably don't care
but darling, this is art
i am here, you are here, we are here, this is real
i am real, you are real, we are real, we are so fucking real
and i guess we can just fall in love
just for the weekend
i made you a mixtape before you went away
there was a message in it, did you get it?
i'll be writing you letters while you're getting fucked up
and i might stop by just to see what's up
that first song mattered, that first song meant a lot
that last one needs to stick i sing it to myself every now and then
but i know this isn't permanent , that's not what you meant
but please let me believe we can just fall in love
just for the weekend
soft drugs on the grass i just want this night to last
making out after dark the swings squeak in the park
break into an old pool
your breath smells like garlic, my breath smells like garlic
it doesn't matter
i breathe you in, you breathe me out
i breathe you in, you breathe me out
kissing like we're gasping for air i swear
we were drowning when we were apart
and i know that you probably don't care
but darling, this is art
i am here, you are here, we are here, this is real
i am real, you are real, we were real, we were so fucking real
and i guess we can just fall in love
just for the weekend
Track Name: this is me ( letting you )
i'm trying to be a little bit more collected
i'm trying to be a little more sensitive
i'm trying not too feel too much too fast
but i'm stilling falling right on my ass
i'm trying to be a litle bit more collected
i'm getting there

tell me what you're thinking maybe a secret
i don't have any of those left since
i'm an over over-sharer
i share too much
i feel so deeply
i need your touch

i'll fall for you if you let me
you can fall for me too if i let you
this is me letting you letting you
kiss me softly
sleep next to me
keep me warm
Track Name: sixteen
you know what you've been told
'stay safe, be kind, and live to grow old'
you repeat it back to all your friends
but you don't know how your story will end
just a dying kid telling other
dying kids to stay alive
and you really do try but
living here has been too much
(you know that)
and living has been too much
(you know that...)
the bruises on your back and the scars on your hips
will never be cured, trust me, by her lips
you're only 16 you'll be okay they say
in two years you'll be so so far away
out of sight, out of mind
can you do that with friends and family
you found a different
kind of community so
you're better now
you're older now
you're safe now
you survived
you're happy now
you can love now
you're you now
and you will thrive
don't you dare ask yourself why
why why
why
why why
so you know what you've told and
you're finally comfortable with growing old
16 32 48 64
80 years old with your pants
pulled up to your nose
so you know what you've been told
and you're cool
with getting old
Track Name: loving yrself ( a failed how-to guide )
i'm learning to love myself piece by piece
starting at my pinky toe and making it to my knees
i look myself in the eyes
and i go down to the parts i despise
that should be flat that should be gone
that shouldn't be there at all
that should be flat that should be gone
that shouldn't be there at all

i kiss your lips with muscle memory
i just really hope that someone will remember me
remember my name remember what i say
not remember my chest not my wide waist
that should be flat that should be gone
that shouldn't be there at all
that should be flat that should be gone
that shouldn't be there at all
i'll start at my pinky toe again i guess
Track Name: holy shadow - dysphoric in milwaukee
sometimes i ride my bicycle
other times i go to work
am i a product of my privilege
my life is not that difficult i know

so i'll be riding back to portland on a northeastern bound train
i am in love with massachusetts but my heart belongs in maine
am i lonely because of my travelling
my heart is not an avalanche i know

i wanna go back to how it was before
those long walks to the grocery store i know

sometimes i wear a suit + tie
other times i wear a skirt
the city skyline's foggy
i am dysphoric in milwaukee here we go

i wanna go back to how it was before
those long walks to the grocery store i know

i want to go back before i opened these doors
the long walks to the grocery store i used to knoow
Track Name: holy shadow - premonitions
i used to scream things at the winter
get real drunk and scream obscenities in my kitchen
i used to take day trips to the water
do you remember when we first met last autumn

we would sneak out on those night drives
dig up everything we'd buried and kept hid from view
and we would lay it in the backyard
and watch it all wither by the light of the moon

these are just some things that won't come back to me
i'm getting drunk i'm getting quiet please do not talk to me
this one\s about all the time i wasted
when i was wasting all my time again

you know if things were not so different
maybe i would raise a drink to you
but right now i just can't afford that cab ride
so send my love to all the massachusetts crew

because you my friend you were a starfish
in an age when most of us still lived on the land
i'm trying not to be selfish
because i know you found your place now in the sand

these are just some things that won't come back to me
eli, eli, eli lamma sabacthani?
this one is about all the things i wasted
when i was wasted all the time again
Track Name: holy shadow - carry the fire
i got caught trying to write another dishonest song so i'm gonna try something if i'm wrong feel free to call me on my bullshit

so much harm, earned myself a reputation on my arm i could list my occupation i am not gonna listen to no bullshit

all at once someone says that there will come a time when all this beauty has faded
where'd it go that garden to be grown or that couch where we all sat once in my basement?
all i know is that we were once the souls who threw down all our cards in pure amazement
hold it once, hold it close
carry the fire